On the loss (or evolution) of primitive characters

Sometimes I'd like to look at it as being given a clean slate. But most days I just become preposterously frustrated that I can no longer perform the way I did during my "glory days".

Today, there's always a not-so-discreet tug towards mediocrity and the initial "I don't care" until the eventual "oh come on, you're better than this" floats unannounced like a perpetual poltergeist.

I have no idea as to the selection pressure that deleted my previously productive characters, and now I am in the middle of a natural selection episode, barely breathing and staying afloat. I look around and those other species which used to be intermediary are now persisting, proliferating, dominating.

Maybe that's the problem. I became too extreme, too fixated, too developed that I could no longer adapt.

Here comes another wave. God, I wish I have gills.