The search for profound wisdom in a David Sedaris book and a Beatles song

I just realized that I am nowhere near brutal honesty, and that perhaps I could never be hardcore enough to live up to that title unless I grow an African American skin. The way I curse and profess my angst is a sorry fart in comparison to their glorious shits. Maybe my childhood was not crappy enough, my life not pointless enough, my existence not useless enough. For the nth time, my struggle towards the superlatives have failed me.

The horizon is still too far away for my reach, and since I couldn't smuggle alcohol in the room that I share with my brothers, I wake up most mornings and sleep most nights uncompensated for my brilliance. It's the kind of brain food that I let my sad but once dominant pride choke upon. One can only stare at the clouds for too long before coming to the realization that having constricted pupils in this dark and twisted world is not a trait that will ensure survival. I pray dearly for a genetic mutation or a change in the dynamics of natural selection. Maybe Darwin was just drunk when he wrote that book.

I remember Sheldon saying that yellow is the color of fear. And Rajesh suggesting that they name orange as the color of loneliness.

I looked down at my shirt and was struck by the fact that I couldn't make out whether I was wearing yellow or orange. Maybe both.